A child that knows they are close to bedtime will not make a peep. No food requests, no fighting, nothing. They’re aware that mom and dad are just looking for any excuse to turn that TV off. Because it’s so rare; because having calm, content children is something that we are continually striving for yet rarely experience, Louise and I will enjoy this brief utopia before the final push to get them into bed. But of course, moments like these aren’t meant to last. Despite the fa

When the first kid wakes up, I quickly activate the ‘cartoon sequence’. If a sleepy child walks past a blank TV, they will find you in the kitchen and ask to help with breakfast. That’s a weekend activity; I have no time for an assistant during the school week. If the cartoon sequence isn’t activated, you’ve lost 20-30 minutes which could require aspirin or an escape ticket to Panama. I might have to run away and start again with a vasectomy! No, I could never do that to my l

The monotony starts first thing in the morning. Emptying the dishwasher and prepping counter space for breakfast and lunch-making triggers irritation as my desire for something new and exciting is once again not satisfied. However, I do try to make the kids’ food with as much love and attention to detail as possible. The sandwich artist within gets to shine. That is, until the Witching Hour when my ‘food art’ comes back uneaten and/or mushed into the sides of lunchboxes … oh

The Family Taxi From a parenting perspective, I cannot stress how monumentally important it is to keep your car in tip-top condition. It’s a safety thing, but it’s also a mental health thing. Without a car, you can’t drop your kids off at school or day care. Think about that. It’s disconcerting, isn’t it? Depending on your geographic situation, a vehicle that’s out of commission could mean complete and total isolation. Minus the children, that could work out nicely. However,

Yes, of course relationships continue after kids begin arriving, but let’s just say that things … umm; will change. One could argue that change is inevitable, regardless of whether or not children enter the equation. However, kids present certain challenges to the further development and/or maintenance of a romantic partnership. These challenges cannot be fully appreciated (ha ha) until you’re on the battlefield. This is why I get frustrated with childless people who say, ‘we